Ya know what?! I'm doin' it. Screw it.

So after finding this information, and sitting on it for weeks, I realized I may need to publish my discoveries - at least to help others learn from my mistakes.

MEN SUCK.

Well most of them, anyway. And here's a helpful little post as to the inner-workings of these pondscum.


Let's tackle the first subject: Pathological Lying

Taken from the Osric University of Applied Psychology:

"What is a pathological liar?

A deliberate liar knows he is lying. A pathological liar may not.

Although there is no precise definition, certainly none defined by the woefully inadequate but oft-cited DSM-IV, we can state with certainty that it is a person who tells lies incessantly. We can eliminate those who tell lies in order to avoid extreme persecution. But those who consistently tell lies, whether faced with punishment or not, may be considered pathological. We must keep in mind that "pathological" simply means abnormal, or grossly atypical...who among us has not told a lie? At what point does such behavior become "pathological"?

In addition to the difficultly of distinguishing between the liar and the pathological liar, we must also isolate this mental disturbance. Lying is a characteristic of several other disorders as well, such as conduct disorder (CD) and antisocial personality disorder (APD). CD, like many reports of pathological lying, typically has its onset during adolescence. Other behaviors may include inappropriate aggression, destruction, and serious violations of rules and laws. And, as suggested by some doctors, both pathological lying and CD may be caused by, shall we say, challenging situations in the home. Or by a lack of seratonin, in which case Prozac or Zoloft may help. Along with, of course, expensive sessions of psychotherapy."

Sound like anyone you may have bumped into or lived with? :)

Next subject -- the controlling, manipulative asswipe.

Here are the top 10 signs of said boyfriend:

10. Always By Your Side: If you are in a relationship where it seems that you have no time to yourself, chances are you have a controlling boyfriend. He never wants you to go anywhere without him. There is no more “girls night out” for you and your friends, unless he is with you. Doesn’t sound like a good time.
9. Do What He Likes: When you do go out, it is to an event that HE chooses. You may not feel like going to a movie, but it is what he wants to do, for example. Also, his turning down an offer to do what you would like is a key sign that he is not flexible. It often leaves the impression that he does not care about your interests. He may, or may not, but he is not supportive either way.
8. Do Things For Him: “Honey, go pick up some soda for me.” sounds like a genuine request for assistance. If your boyfriend is constantly asking you to run errands, without including you as the benefactor, this is another sign of the need to feel in control. Instead of “…pick up some soda for me.”, the request should be, “We’re out of soda. Can you go pick some up, please?”. Can you see the difference? WE are in need of soda, simply.
7. No Manners: In the previous example, the “please” was left out intentionally. Your boyfriend will not be polite. He will not say “thank you”, “you’re welcome”, “please” or even “excuse me” to you. It is because he is expecting you to comply with his requests. He also feels as if you should be thanking him for allowing you to do things for him.
6. Questions, Questions: When you can finally break through the chains, and find some free time for yourself, be prepared: your controlling boyfriend will interrogate you when you return. Putting himself in a “father figure” position will install more of a sense of control. Treating you like a child that went to the mall, prior to doing her homework, is the kind of humiliation in you he is trying to achieve.
5. No Questions, No Answers: Unlike the aforementioned subject, your boyfriend will come and go as he pleases, without answering to anyone – especially to you. If you try to question his whereabouts or activities, he will become defensive. The subject will immediately transfer from your asking, “where were you?” to his comeback remark about how you nag him too much, or something similar to that effect. He will ignore answering the question, and make you feel guilty for asking it. This is in hope that you will not do it again.
4. He’s Always Right: In an argument with a controlling personality, it is very difficult for him to accept defeat. The controlling boyfriend will get more defensive, change the subject, or bring up a past occurrence, when he was, indeed, correct, in order to prove his point with the issue at hand. He may not always be right, completely, but he is never wrong.
3. Can’t Buy Me Love: Fools gold has been around for centuries. However, a fool AND his gold have special meaning to the controlling boyfriend. He will buy you nice jewelry, take you to expensive restaurants and maybe even offer to pay a debt of yours. He will say it is because he loves you. Not true. He needs to feel superior to you. You now owe him, in his mind. Who is the fool? To him, you are.
2. You’re Worthless: Belittling your self-confidence can be have very serious consequences. Making you feel as if you are worthless without him, the controlling boyfriend will prey on times that you may be stressed the most. If you have just lost a job, or if you are experiencing normal hormonal reactions, this is the time he will strike. He wants you to feel as if life is not worth living without him. It’s hard to believe, but his confidence level is actually lower than yours.
1. No Means No: This is the most upsetting trait that a controlling boyfriend can display. If he forces you to do things, against your will, he is not in love with you. Whether it is going to a baseball game, when you hate outdoor stadiums, or, even more harsh an act, makes you perform sexually against your will, he is NOT in love with you. Not showing you the courtesy to respect your wishes is not a behavior that goes away. This will continue as an abusive relationship, where you will be treated as an object, instead of a person.

WEIRD...

Now let's tackle the final subject: Cheating pieces of shit. :)

After going through psychologist Gary Neuman's "Reasons Why Men Cheat", it still hasn't managed to clear things up. What it did do, however, is paint a clear picture. Again... does this ring any bells?

40% of cheating men met the other woman at work.

"Oftentimes the woman he cheats with at the office is someone who praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts," Neuman says. "That's another reason why it's so critical that he feel valued at home." Luckily, there's a clear warning sign that your boyfriend is getting a little too cozy with a colleague: If he praises or mentions the name of a female coworker more than he would a male counterpart, your antennae should go up -- and it's time for the two of you to set boundaries about what is and isn't okay at work, Neuman says.

77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated

Hanging around friends who stray makes cheating seem normal and legitimizes it as a possibility. The message he's subconsciously telling himself: "My friend is a good guy who happens to be cheating on his girlfriend. I guess even the best of us do it."

Only 6% of cheating men had physical intimacy with a woman after meeting her that same day or night.

(THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE!!)

"Actually, 73 percent of men got to know the other woman for more than a month before they cheated. This means that you may have time to see the warning signs before infidelity occurs -- you might even see it coming before he does. Keep an eye out for these common signals: He spends more time away from home, stops asking for physical intimacy, picks fights more frequently, or becomes more secluded when taking phone calls/emails/etc..."

Hmmmm..... weirdly familiar.

Either way. I found this both informative, and hysterically accurate. Your thoughts, ladies?