The Following Is A Public Service Announcement...

This is what happens when you drink with Kimberly Jolin... I present to you, my faithful audience, a brief selection of ridiculous one-liners brought on my FARRRRR too much wine in FARRRRR too short a time span...

"I hear that, brotha!" - Kim, speaking to the fictional character Michael Scott, at far too loud of an interval.

"You can TOO scuba with asthma! They said so on America's Next Top Model!" - Kim, very offended that Creed on the Office had his information wrong.

"That's what happens when I drink -- I get SMARTER! It's INSANE!!!" - Kim

"The Ramen may taste like shit, but these brownies are f***ing goooooooooooooooooood!" - Kim

"Have another glass of wine, Jess..." - Kim, said repeatedly throughout the night, not a good move.

"EVERYTHING I say is funny when induced by Moscato!" - Kim

"I can't find a notebook, but I do have a shit ton of bills I don't intend to pay?!" - Me

"I don't know why we decided to whisper that ENTIRE conversation?" - Me

"I'ma put some Fibersure in my ramen!" - Me, very decidedly.
"I think that's a GREAT idea!" - Kim, very supportive of my brilliance.

"I'm not gonna see you for the rest of the night, am I?" - Kim
"Nonsense, I take very quick poops..." - Me (apparently no topic is sacred after the third glass)

"What the hell is THAT about?! When I have NOTHING going on, I get home in five minutes. When I wanna get home and have a glass of wine, hang out with you, maybe take a shit? Retarded people EVERYWHERE!" - me, yet again, referencing bowel movements. lol.

"Shit. The timer's still going and I took the brownies out twenty minutes ago." - me

"Are you ready?" - Kim getting all spookyyyyyy before Paranormal Activity
"Yes, and that's not the light switch..." - Me

"Tell me when you're done writing down the stupid things I say..." - Kim
"Stop saying stupid things, now I have to write THAT too!" - Me

"I need you to not judge me right now!" - Kim, said while spooning brownie batter out of the bowl


It was a top night, Kim, a TOP NIGHT! Must do it again soon.

xoxo,
J